I am by no means a writer, but i am planning on practicing and making it a habit. I was just wondering what others thought of my work, this is just a rough draft. I’d like some advice and constructive criticism. thanks in advance! I know this might be a little long, but you don’t have to read it all lol.
********************************************************************************************
”Dwayne! Wake up!”
Seven A.M Monday morning, and my own little personal alarm clock was banging on my bedroom door.
”Alright! Alright! I’m up!” I yelled, wishing my little sister would just let me sleep in for 5 more minutes.
”Don’t make me come in there and tickle you,” she joked. I waited for the sound of her footsteps to disappear down the hall before closing my eyes again. Yea I guess I’m lazy, but it was Monday morning after all, and to be honest, I don’t give a damn. I have three tests today, and I haven’t opened a single book all weekend. I was too busy trying to beat the last level in Urban Rebels before having to return it to Game Shack today. I sighed a little inside at the thought of my teachers calling home because I failed my tests yet again. I really should have studied. I opened my eyes and rolled over onto my back, staring up at the ceiling. Folding my hands behind my head, I tried to recall how many tests I’ve failed so far this semester. I got to around six when my bedroom door slammed open suddenly. There standing in my doorway, frowning and arms crossed, trying her best to look intimidating, was my little sister, the alarm clock.
”You now have fifteen minutes to get up and get ready before the bus leaves,” she said, looking at her watch.
“Alright Sergeant Cassie, I’m up,” I teased, sticking my tongue out at her. She walked away rolling her eyes. I could never understand how she was capable of being so eager and cheerful on Monday mornings, its probably one of the reasons why she’s on the honour roll. I sluggishly rolled off my bed and onto my feet, stretching wildly.
”AND BRUSH YOUR TEETH THIS TIME!” yelled Cassie From downstairs. Before heading for the bathroom, I glanced at the clock hanging on my wall just above my new Gears Of War Poster. Seven fifty seven it read, which meant I now had thirteen minutes left. but that didn’t bother me because I was going to make it, I always did.
Out of breath and a bit sweaty, I arrived at the bus stop on time. I knew this because Cassie was still there, sitting on the bench with her nose in one of her textbooks. I grabbed a seat beside her and whipped out the rice crispy square I had grabbed on my way out. Without taking her eyes off her textbook, she flipped the page and said,
”It’s a few minutes late today.”
I shrugged, unwrapping my breakfast.
”Want some?” I offered.
”Nah,” she said, looking up at me with a soft smile.
”You should really consider having an actual meal for breakfast sometime, and not some quick snack.”
”Alright Sergeant,” I said, sarcastically saluting her. Giving me her signature eye roll, she turned back to her textbook.
My sister and I are close, really close. Ever since our mother passed away last summer from Aids, we’ve gotten allot closer. She’s just like mom used to be: intelligent, caring and bossy, Hence the nickname I gave her, “Sergeant Cassie”. She has mom’s beauty too: short wavy black hair, light brown eyes, long lashes, and a tiny little nose. She was a great woman, and I see the same person whenever I look at Cassie. When mom died, Cassie showed no emotion. She was the only one that wasn’t shedding tears at her funeral. She did however, Stop talking for a couple of months. She sat up in her room all summer starring out her window. It was only after she had discovered mom’s silver bracelet, buried in a box of her belongings did she begin talking again. We’ve always been there for each other since mom’s death, looking out for one another. Our so called father, on the other hand is the reason why mom died, and for that I will never love him. Seems that thirty three years of marriage wasn’t his thing because he started sleeping around with other women behind mom’s back. Sure enough, he catches an STD and passes it on to her. He began to drink heavily. He was almost never at home, and was always out somewhere getting drunk. His clock was slowly ticking down to his final hour, and I couldn’t wait. That sounds awful I know, but he is the reason why Cassie and I don’t have a mother.
”Its about time,” said Cassie, shoving her textbook into her baby blue backpack. She reached into her back pocket and pulled out her buss pass. “where’s yours?” she asked. I checked all my pants pockets and came up empty.
”I-I dunno,” I stuttered. With the bus nearing I frantically searched my backpack. With no luck I turned to her with an innocent look on my face, and there in her hands was my buss pass.
”I knew you’d forget it again today, that’s why I grabbed it for you on my way out.” S
