Me and the girl we went for a short time (6 months september – feb) but it was very sweet and fun. We spent everyday/ late nights together. We watched so many movies alone at her apt. I cooked for her, we used to sit under the stars and listen to taylor swift songs. ..just so many little things that were so special. I bought her a stupid little promise ring like high school boys do for their girlfriend. [ we are 27(me) and 22(her) years old] We were happy and talked about how we would get married and have our house and what we’d name our kids. She was an enigmatic girl who had a magnetic personality and for some reason which I’ll never understand she liked me, of all the guys who wanted her.. idk why me.
When her college finished, her mum brought her back closer to herself in California. When she was leaving, we promised each other we would get married in 6 months if we can but no more then 1 year. My friend told me I should give her a webcam so we can see each other daily and keep in touch but I didn’t want her to think the webcam was for any other reason.., didn’t want her to think I wanted to do anything sexual. webcam seemed like a really weird idea so I didn’t and then only a month later, in february we broke up. right AFTER we broke up, I came across this girl at the gym.. actually I’d met the gym girl much eariler, but since me and my girl we were having a hard time understanding each other, I started taking an interest in the gym girl. My girl found out about the gym girl and became really bitter. I tried at the time to save this relationship but she demanded unrealistic things. I told her she shouldn’t worry about the gym girl but she didn’t believe me.
then i kept in touch with her cousin who kept telling me that she was an emotional mess. In apirl, on my birthday, I heard from her again out of nowhere. She wished me happy birthday and I tried to bring her back in my life. She said she didn’t want to break up 2 months later again but we agreed that we shouldn’t lose touch because we were friends six years before we dated. So we kept in touch over emails and facebook.
[IF YOU WANT TO SKIP ALL THE HISTORY, JUST READ BELOW]
Today, she came back from California for a visit. First time we met face to face since.. after breaking up. She seemed different. She went from a charming romantic energetic girl to a quiet shy and somewhat scared girl. Today was an awkward day- I’ve never kept in touch with an ex.. never even bothered to look back except this one. I don’t know what to expect from this. I hugged her at the airport.. drove her to her hotel. We talked all evening, very serious stuff.. nothing funny, goofy, or charming. She sat on the other side of the bed the whole time. I put on a brave face and acted totally calm and smooth like it didn’t bother me at all.. i turned on the tv, checked my email, made some phone calls while she unpacked., then about 10 minutes before I was leaving she came out in her pjs and sat close to me and leaned back on me. I asked her teasingly if she missed me, she stared blankly into the wall like a statue. The night was just full of awkward moments like this.
Like I understand I screwed up, but how much more punishment do I deserve before she forgives me? If she came to new york and called me.. (she has family here, she could have called up anyone else) then to me it says, she doesn’t want to give up on us and wants to try again. Well.. so do I. I’ve wanted to fix things since the day misunderstandings arose. Her cousin told me she took the break up very hard but I couldn’t imagine, its like she’s a depressed war veteran who’s seen/ been through horrible things.
I love this girl and I want to make her mine again. I want to do so much for her. How can I fix things? How can faith be restored in her heart. I can do whatever it takes to bring back the energy and confidence in her. Somebody tell me, what do I need to do to fix her?
